I found out about the engagement the weekend my brother was going to propose (i.e. the same week his then-girlfriend was set to return from her 8-month mission trip from Thailand), and while I was happy about it, a pang of fear shot through me since there's nothing in my contract that says my school has to give me any leave for a sibling's wedding. The day he called me after the engagement to tell me about the date they were setting, I was on a 4-day trip (to the southern coast and green tea fields) and I cried like nobody's business. The problem was, the wedding was set smack in the middle of summer and winter breaks. I have 20 days of paid leave, but I'm only supposed to take those when school isn't in session (summer or winter break). After negotiating a little bit, and they weren't able to budge, I approached my supervisor about the matter.
Me: So, I found out my brother is getting married in October.....
Mr. Kim: Wow, congratulations!
Me: Yeah...... I'd love to go, but..... I don't know if it's possible.
Mr. Kim: He's your brother. This is important; I think you must be there. I will speak to the principal about it.
He came back and showed me that the weekend my brother had chosen was the weekend before midterms, and since I do nothing during exams but sit at my desk, it was the most perfect time possible for the wedding. That didn't solve the trouble of getting leave between breaks, but Mr. Kim somehow pulled some strings and arranged for me to be allowed to take paid leave off. I have no idea how that happened, but I praised God for accomplishing a miracle. Native English teachers hear so many horror stories in Korea about people who aren't allowed by their schools to go home to see their parent who is on his/her deathbed, or who have to miss a sibling's wedding or something similar. My case was almost unprecedented!
With the way cleared, I bought my ticket (With taxes about $1,800, ouch!) and got back to work. This all took place in early summer.
When the time came to travel, I had luggage problems. One suitcase was slightly broken (the cover on one wheel had worn off), but I didn't want to ditch it here since the rest of the set was back in Tennessee. I needed to take that with me. I also needed to take the awkward footlocker back to carry wedding and other family/friend gifts. Part of my gift to David and Katie was some Korean celadon (light green ceramics) pieces to decorate their home. The luggage had fragile and heavy stuff in it!
My transit plans for the airport: take a taxi to my city's airport bus and take the bus (less than $8!!) to the airport early Friday morning. Mr. Kim was worried about me being able to communicate so he decided to help me get a taxi that morning. Well, there were no taxis around. A foreign teacher happened to be walking by at 6am, and he helped get my bags to the curb. From the curb, Mr. Kim put the bags in his car and drove me to the bus. (He mentioned later that he was worried I was leaving the country and NEVER coming back since I had so much luggage! Haha! ^_^) At the airport bus, there was a foreigner and his Korean wife (?). They didn't have cash for the bus, only metro cards. I loaned them cash since the bus driver got upset with them. They were so grateful that they loaded and unloaded my luggage! Some great people, and they insisted on paying me back.
My airplane neighbors were pretty quiet, the flight was managed by Korean Air (so nice!), and finally I arrived in America! Going through US customs and baggage claim makes even an American citizen feel like a t3rr0r1st, if you know what I mean... As though, we haven't necessarily won the war. :( I was so relieved to see my dad waiting for me in the Atlanta airport once I was through security and customs! We loaded into in the van and headed to SC for the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner that night. Hugs were plentiful, and it was a joyful homecoming! How wonderful to see most of the extended Wagner family gathered together! I hadn't seen my dad's step-mom and her husband in over a year, so I was especially glad to see them.
I had an odd re-entry experience those first few hours. Seeing English on all the signs was the first big change. The next surprise was a conversation when my dad and I tried to get a Subway order for my sister and brother-in-law. JoAnna was talking on the phone to me about the food order as Ben was giving her directions to the restaurant that he was hearing from Katie's father. At the same time, David called my dad asking him questions. There were so many layers of English conversations going on around me that I almost flipped out. It was hard to know what to pay attention to!
The rehearsal dinner included some wonderful American foods! Chicken casserole, fruit salad, homemade Kahlua cheesecake, green beans, homemade bread rolls, sweet tea, and other delicious treats. It sounds kind of ordinary aside from the cheesecake, but I hadn't really had any of those in 7 months. This isn't an actual picture of my sister's cheesecake, but it was the closest looking one I could find on the internet.
Bachelor and bachelorette parties were held after dinner concluded, but they were rather subdued. Aside from one fellow falling into the lake near the cottages we rented for the weekend. I enjoyed that my sister and I got to visit with Katie and some of her friends, since we hadn't had many chances to do that! Chatting, snacking, laughing, and remembering were a great way to spend the evening. I presented Katie with her own set of Korean wedding ducks, a centuries-old tradition, though it has modernized a little now.
Korean Culture Side-track
Korean wedding ducks were traditionally presented to the bride as part of the wedding ceremony (I didn't follow this part of the tradition). In days of yore, they would have been carved by a friend of the family. He did this free of charge, since it was such a high honor to be asked, but it was hard to find such a man. The reason? It meant the bride's family was declaring to everyone that this man's life was characterized as having five fortunes:
1. Wealth
2. Health
3. Fidelity (For him and his relatives there must have been no divorces)
4. Many sons
5. A good wife
By carving the ducks himself, it was said that he was sharing these fortunes with the new couple (so some carvers skimped out and only carved very basic designs, thinking this would leave more fortune for themselves). The ducks would then be placed in a prominent place in the couple's home. If the ducks were pointing towards each other, it meant the couple was living in harmony, but if the ducks were moved tail-to-tail, it meant they were probably having an argument. There are more legends about other relative positions too. They are usually painted with red and blue bills, to represent yin and yang, complementing roles. Though... the female ducks used to be made with colorful yarn tied around her bill, signifying silence and submission. Today's ducks are more... liberated. Anyway, interesting tradition, and the ducks are still always given at weddings in Korea today, though now they are usually bought from a store.
I'd split the wedding and the rest of the trip into separate entries! More to come in a later installment.
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